Let's talk about sex.

Homework has never been my favorite thing. And this week is no different. This week's risk assessment I'll be talking about sexual abuse. Yikes. Prepare yourselves. In Mansfield, Nottinghamshire (that's in the UK)  Partick Gallagher is being charged with eighty-nine accounts of sexually abusing children. He's sixty. He got away with abusing seventeen children from ages of eight-seventeen between 1999-2010 (Source.) How does this happen? And why? And that's just one example. Are you beginning to understand just how sick this is? Without being graphic, we should start off by defining what sexual abuse is. With issues like this,it is crucial that everyone is on the same page. The first step to stopping an injustice is to know about it. The AHA says, "In most states, the legal definition of child molestation is an act of a person—adult or child—who forces, coerces or threatens a child to have any form of sexual contact or to engage in any type of sexual activity at the perpetrator’s direction." So just how frequent is this problem? Sexual abuse is reported about 80,000 times a year in the US (Source). But how often does this kind of abuse go unreported? Let's be honest for a moment. We don't see this kind of thing coming. We don't expect it. But maybe we should. We need to stop being passive or indifferent and start being aware. Most children are abused on multiple occasions. "Abuse typically occurs within a long-term, on-going relationship between the offender and victim, escalates over time and lasts an average of four years. Offenders often develop a relationship with a targeted victim for months before beginning the abused. Sexual abuse often occurs in successive generations of the same family (Source)." You think that we'd pick up on this by now, right? But how often do we get wrapped up in our own worlds and don't pay attention to our neighbours or what's going on in our communities. But what do we look for? Indicators in children age two-nine (yes that's right, this happens to children even this young):

• Fear of particular people, places or activities
• Regression to earlier behaviors such as bed wetting or stranger anxiety
• Victimization of others
• Excessive masturbation
• Feelings of shame or guilt
• Nightmares or sleep disturbances
• Withdrawal from family or friends
• Fear of attack recurring
• Eating disturbances 

In slightly older children common behaviours of sexually abused kids include:

• Depression
• Nightmares or sleep disturbances
• Poor school performance
• Promiscuity
• Substance abuse
• Aggression
• Running away from home
• Fear of attack recurring
• Eating disturbances
• Early pregnancy or marriage
• Suicidal gestures
• Anger about being forced into situation beyond one’s control
• Pseudo-mature behaviours

Pretty big list, eh? Now you just need to keep your eyes open. I'm not trying to inspire paranoia, but we need to know what's up. So what can we do? First and foremost, if you have ANY suspicions, REPORT THEM! In twenty of our fifty states, you LEGALLY HAVE to report any suspicions you might have. Obviously make sure you keep an eye on your kids. Sit down and talk to them. Teach them to be smart and how to differentiate what is normal and what is inappropriate. Be active in your community. Spread the word. Be supportive of those who have been abused. Ask God for His heart for sexually abused children. Afterall, "The effects of sexual abuse extend far beyond childhood. Sexual abuse robs children of their childhood and creates a loss of trust, feelings of guilt and self-abusive behaviour. It can lead to antisocial behavior, depression, identity confusion, loss of selfesteem and other serious emotional problems. It can also lead to difficulty with intimate relationships later in life. The sexual victimization of children is ethically and morally wrong (Source)." And remeber that Matthew18:5 says, "And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me." It is our responisibility as Christians to always have the best interest of the child in mind. Rememeber WWJD? What would Jesus do? He would have us looking out for the sexually abused child. The church needs to be looking out for not only for the members of their congregation but also for the children in their community. What about the governement? Well, Article 34 of the UN Convention on the rights of the Child says that the goverment should protect children from sexual abuse. Duh. We all should be. Right? So far the greatest resource I've found has been the internet. This topic has been so heartbreaking that I've never had any desire to research it. Just being honest. I've never read a book on this so I have none to reccomend. However I would reccomend LIVERSTRONG.com (yes like Lance Armstrong.) They have pages and pages of information on a number of issues. You can check out livestrong.com/sexual-abuse/ for a ton of articles on this subject. I will also post an episode of the Oprah about sexual abuse. In this episode, the guest is Tyler Perry and the audience is 200 men that as young boys were sexually abused. It is very interesting and horrifically sad. A few men give accounts of how those molestations have devistated and forever changed their lives. However, I would just like to encourage and remind you how big our God is. He can heal any wound no matter how deep. There is hope. Don't go forgetting that. Psalm 30:2, "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me."

The Oprah Show: Episode on Child Molestation.

 



Oh, I feel like a woman.

My parents always told me they had always wanted a daughter. They got one (that's me just in case you were wondering.) When I was little I believe I was your typical American munchkin. I wanted to be a dancer one day and a princess the next. Pink and purple were my favorite colors and I loved dressing up. I wore the same dress for years. It said "cutie-pie" and was floral. When I got older my dad told me a story. He told me that sometime after I was born he was working in some country in the Middle East. I believe he was in Turkey. He told me that he was so excited about little baby me that he was walking around and telling everyone he knew that he was a daddy. However, apparently when he told one man about his new born daughter, the man gave his apologies. How unfortunate it was that I was not a boy. In my young mind I thought what kind of a person wouldn't want a daughter? Why would anyone tell my dad that it was too bad that the first child had been a girl? It sounded great to me. After all, what's so bad about being a girl? What's not to love about a face like this. (See picture above.) Unfortunately there are a lot of places in our modern world that feels this way. They don't believe that girls and women are to be celebrated. "When a boy is born in most developing countries, friends and relatives exclaim congratulations. A son means insurance. He will inherit his father's property and get a job to help support the family. When a girl is born, the reaction is very different. Some women weep when they find out their baby is a girl because, to them, a daughter is just another expense. Her place is in the home, not in the world of men. In some parts of India, it's traditional to greet a family with a newborn girl by saying, 'The servant of your household has been born (source).'"  How sad and infuriating is that? Doesn't that make you angry? The idea that women are inferior to men is a dangerous misconception. So what makes it 'dangerous.' Think about a dowry. Isn't it a lot like paying someone for the inconvenience of your daughter? A lot like, "Oh, I'll pay you to take her off my hands."? It is estimated that 5,000 women in India are killed in dowry related incidents every year. Woah. How wrong is that? I don't understand that at all. I can't. How do you feel about abortion? How do you feel about gender selective abortions? In the city of Jaipur, India there are 2 million people and each year there are 3,500 gender selective abortions. That means that 3,500 fetuses are murdered each year just because they are female. Whatever your view on abortion is.... that is WRONG. Doesn't that make you angry? Did you know that women own only 1% of farmland but they produce 50% of all produce. What does that say about our value? We're allowed to work the land but not own it. And gender discrimination doesn't stop there. Three women are murdered every day in Pakistan in an honor killing. They are killed because they brought 'dishonor' on their families. Often times they dishonored their family when they were raped. For example a young 16 year old mentally handicapped girl was raped in Pakistan in 1999. Since she brought shame upon her tribe she was sentenced to be executed. That is injustice. Is your heart broken yet? I bet this story will do you in. In Tamil Nadu, India a women named  Lakshmi killed her own daughter. She made her baby girl drink sap from an oleander bush mixed with castor oil until she died. The death must have been extremely painful because the poor girl was bleeding from her nose as she died. Lakshmi explained her reasoning for the murder. She said, "A daughter is always liabilities. How can I bring up a second? Instead of her suffering the way I do, I thought it was better to get rid of her (source)." The third Millenium Development Goal by the United Nations is gender equality. They have a lot of work to do. We have a lot of work to do. Psalm 139:13-16 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." This tells us that God designed us. He created us special. He chose our gender--on purpose. He made us exactly the way He wanted us to be and it is our duty to ensure that women of all ages realize their WORTH. So let's say hypothetically, that the church got involved. Let's say they discipled families and gave women back their value. What if we as Christians demonstarted how women should be treated? What if the governments of devolping countries defended their women? What if they abolished unjust laws and punishments like the honor killings in Pakistan? What if media and the arts got involved and inspired women to stand up for themselves and demand the respect they deserve? Loren Cunningham (founder of Youth with a Mission) wrote a book called Why Not Women. I've never read it but I'd like to. It's about how God uses women specifically to further His kingdom. Women were created special and unique and it's all part of God's design. We were created to serve God in our own feminin way. And that's GOOD. I'll leave you with a video by the Girl Effect. It's an organization dedicated to eradicating poverty and changing the world by working with GIRLS. It gets me so excited. It's creative and inovative and down right AWESOME.

     “Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.”-Calvin and Hobbes

She needs to know that was created in the image of God.

I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on these drums all day.

When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? At a very young age we are encouraged to explore the depths of our imaginations and decide what it is that we wish to be when we grow up. Children play dress up, don tiaras, fasten on police badges, drive pretend race cars, and conduct plastic trains all in anticipation of the arrival of adulthood. Notice a common theme? Here it is: we work when we grow up. Normal. Nothing revolutionary there.... right? But for 158 million children between 5-14 this is not the norm. This means that one in six children are already being sent to work . Ummm.... say what? This means that these children are not being educated, not playing, and not just being children. But wait let's think about this, they can't be doing anything.... well hard..... after all they're just kids. Right? It can't be that big of a deal. Actually, no. Many of their jobs are extremely dangerous. The children find themselves working with pesticides, harmful chemicals, heavy machinery, and even in dangerous mine shafts (Source). Would YOU want to do that kind of work? I doubt it. There are 44.6 million children in Asia engaged in child labor. That is almost FIVE times the population of Michigan. In Africa 26.3% of the children living there are working as child laborers. There are 5.1 million kids in Latin America being put to work. How about a "few" more numbers?

 "In India 14.4 % children between 10 and 14 years of age are employed in child labor. in Bangladesh 30.1%, in China 11.6%,in Pakistan 17.7%, in Turkey 24%, in Cote D’lvoire 20.5%, in Egypt 11.2%, in Kenya 41.3% , in Nigeria 25.8%, in Senegal 31.4%, in Argentina 4.5%, in Brazil 16.1%, in Mexico 6.7%, in Italy 0.4% and in Portugal 1.8%. The above figures only give part of the picture. No reliable figures of child workers below 10 years of age are available, though they comprise a significant amount. The same is true of children in the former age group on whom no official data is available. If it was possible to count the number of child workers properly, and the number of young girls occupied in domestic labor taken into account - the figure will emerge as hundreds of million (Source)."

Get the picture? The second Millennium Development Goal is universal education. I'm not sure how we plan to accomplish that when kids are going to work everyday and not going to school. Clearly there is a problem. In the United Nations Convention on the Rights of The Child, Article 28 says that children have the right to an education and Article 31 says the child has the right to relax and play. Hm..... so where did we go wrong? What are we missing? Have you ever heard of Compassion International? I'm sure you have. They're the people with the annoying overplayed commercials that try to get you to care and have enough pity to sponsor a child. How often do you change the channel when those commercials come on? (I've done it too.) But they're doing something right. When you sponsor one of their kids you are paying for them to go to have an education (which means that they are in school and not at work) and they are a training the kids with life and vocational skills. If we train these kids they will learn a skill which they can develop and use to obtain a decent job with fair pay. Makes you want to sponsor a child doesn't it? Ecclesiastes 2:20-21 says, "So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. For a person may labor with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then they must leave all they own to another who has not toiled for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune." I believe that this is how children sent to work must feel. So what can we do? How about we make sure that the products we buy aren't being manufactured by children? To find out check out free2work.org.  It gives rating to top brand name companies on how they're doing in preventing child labor. The best way to start the end to child labor is to be in the know. If you would like to read a story about two boys who sell balloons in Yemen (and only earn about four dollars a day) you can visit Child laborers in Yemen. If you would like to learn more about Compassion International or sponsor a child you can visit Compassion.com. Also check out the video below for more info.

Watch me.

A girl working in the reconstruction effort carries a tile on her head in the city of Choluteca, Honduras.

Children hard at work making bricks.